In a study, people with average IQs (intellectual intelligence) outperformed those with higher IQs. Until this study, it was believed the source of success was a high IQ. Research now shows emotional intelligence to be the main factor that separates the pack.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your emotions and the emotions of others around you. Emotional Intelligence isn’t tangible and can’t be taught.
However, people are less likely to accept emotional intelligence if they feel it’s inauthentic.
In regards to work, employees take the time to analyse if emotions to see if they are sincere or manipulative.
Employees were more motivated by sincere leaders due to the level of trust they had for them.
Travis Bradberry (author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0) compiled a list of traits to help you measure how genuine you truly are.
1. Genuine people don’t try to make people like them
Being who you are regardless of what others think and knowing it’s OK to not be liked by everyone. Of course, they care if people like them or not but they won’t let it cloud their judgement.
As Churchill said “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
They understand that people tend to shut down when talking to someone who tries to show their importance. Whereas, speaking in a friendly and confident manner allows people to be more attentive.
2. They don’t pass judgment
Their mind isn’t made up based on what someone else has said. They are open-minded, making them approachable and interesting to others.
Having an open mind is beneficial crucial
3. They forge their paths
A genuine person follows their internal compasses. The direction they choose will come from their principles and values.
4. They are generous
We all know someone who will hold on to their knowledge or resources because they don’t want others to succeed. That isn’t the case for a genuine person. They want others to do well, are team players and are confident enough that someone’s success won’t make them look bad. You being successful is their success.
5. They treat everyone with respect
Everyone is treated with the same level of respect, whether it’s a big client or a waiter. They don’t believe they’re better than everyone else.
6. They aren’t motivated by material things
Inanimate objects don’t mesmerise them. They don’t need to buy expensive objects to show off their status and boost their morale. True happiness comes from within.
7. They are trustworthy
They mean what they say and keep any promises made. People are drawn towards trustworthy individuals because they can rely on them.
8. They are thick-skinned
Having a strong sense of worth. If an idea of theirs is criticised, they don’t feel as though it’s a personal attack. Differentiating what’s negative and constructive feedback helps them leave the negative behind without any hard feelings.
9. They put away their phones
Nothing is more annoying someone texting during a conversation. A genuine person will put their phone to one side and fully engage in a conversation.
10. They aren’t driven by ego
Not needing approval from others. Because of this, their drive isn’t led by their ego and go through life without feeling the need to brag about their achievements.
11. They aren’t hypocrites
Ever heard of the idiom ‘practice what you preach’? That’s part of being genuine. They are aware of their mistakes and weaknesses and fix their difficulties before preaching to others.
12. They don’t brag
Have you ever wondered why people brag about their accomplishments? Insecurity is a big reason why. If they don’t brag then will anyone ever know about their accomplishments? Someone genuine knows that doing something noteworthy will stand out on its own merits.
To conclude, emotional intelligence can only truly be effective if the person is genuine. They are present, grounded and comfortable in their skin. Just like emotional intelligence, being genuine can’t be taught.